Eeeesh

Thomas: (expressively, with authority and epic grandeur) "The problem with people is not that they die. It is that they never live".
James: (thoughtful pause) "Who said that?"
Thomas: (matter-of-factly) "Me, I just thought of it. You know that I'm a genius. I don't do inspiration, I am inspiration"
James: (staccato) "GET A JOB".
Thomas: (patronisingly - think primary school teacher 'assembly voice') "Unlike you my friend, 1. I have a job, 2. I earn enough to pay tax to my beloved government, 3. I have a fully working, P.A.T. tested alarm clock, 4. ..."
James: (interrupting, in the voice of a 6 year old girl) "You're a bore"
Thomas: (spitting) "...what?"
James: (faux naively) "You're a bore, it rhymes you see - with four. I thought you were a genius?"
Thomas: (baitingly) "Good poets don't compromise themselves with the simplicity of rhyme my illegitimate brother"
James: (with a hint of 'arrogant cultural snobbery') "What about Bob Dylan?"
Thomas: (muttering; spoken out of the side of the mouth) "He's not a poet. he's a simpleton"
James: (think 'emotional breakdown Oscar attempt') "...I thought I knew you? ....I called you my friend"
Thomas: (teasing the prey) "Never trust a man who changes his name".
James: (spluttering) "I let you in to my home..."
Thomas: (gadget-geek voice) "Not technically your home is it?"
James: (using the universally recognised, "I'm not angry, just disappointed" voice) "I fed you, I made you fresh coffee..."
Thomas: (Unsympathetic) "Ssshhh-up. Anyway, Bob Dylan looks like my Gran"
James: (suddenly moving out of character) "I thought your Gran was dead?"
Thomas: (victoriously) "Precisely".